IS IT UNREASONABLE TO ASK MY FINANCE NOT TO GO ON VACATION WITH ANOTHER FEMALE?

My financial not long ago told me which he was fearful which he would have difficulty staying true to me. Later he told me which he was starting to encounter the lady he met online for coffee. Then, he pronounced he was starting to debate California with the opposite lady which he met during school. He told me which he feels similar to his leisure is being compromised if I intent to it, though I feel harm he doesn’t cruise my feelings.

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

KJ jr October 24, 2010 at 6:56 pm

no, seriously, are you that desperate to get married?

lol.

DAR76 October 24, 2010 at 7:39 pm

You are not being unreasonable. He is obviously not being respectful of your feelings in this situation.

bEttYnFattY October 24, 2010 at 7:42 pm

omg, you need to drop this loser, he doesnt respect or deserve you

Baby April October 24, 2010 at 8:04 pm

If he thinks he’ll have trouble staying faithful then 1, I don’t think he should be getting married. One of the main purposes of marriage is that you will stick with 1 person and 1 person only – for the rest of your life. If you’re not even married yet and he’s telling you he doesn’t know if he can stay faithful then that would be reason to back off from the relationship right now. Why wait until 10 years from now when you have 3 kids, a dog, and a mortgage payment?

Also, why is he taking another female on vacation with him? Why doesn’t he take you? He does NOT sound like keeper to me.

luvlisteningtomusic October 24, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Re-read your question and ask yourself why this man is still your fiance or finance lol

Aimes October 24, 2010 at 9:26 pm

This is silly and so are you if you put up with it.

Dionne G October 24, 2010 at 9:51 pm

If he loves you than he should consider you feelings and want to be with you all the time. Not contemplating on going where ever with any women unless it’s his momma or you.

♥dreaneni♥ October 24, 2010 at 10:09 pm

Those are things you do not do when you are engaged! Why would you still want him?

ouragon October 24, 2010 at 10:49 pm

Why are you questioning yourself? Are you SO interested in pleasing your fiancé that you’ve lost your mind? He’s cheating and you’re letting him. If an open relationship is what you want and it’s ok with you, you’re with the right man. If you expect fidelity you need to WAKE UP and get rid of this loser.

kttphoenix October 24, 2010 at 11:20 pm

No it’s nor unreasonable. If he wants his freedom, give him back the ring and he can be as free as he wants. Would he want you touring with some other guy?

REF October 24, 2010 at 11:44 pm

It does not seem that he cares how you feel. I sure would not want my finance going all over with other men. I don’t feel he would be pleased with you for doing the same thing. You may want to look this relationship over again. He may have a bigger problem with being married.

petcatisland October 24, 2010 at 11:46 pm

At least he is open with you, if you really care to keep him then have your own flings & an open relationship. Best not to marry or have kids with such a free spirit.
If this isn’t your thing you will just have to call it a day & find a different kind of man.

cugargurl07 October 24, 2010 at 11:54 pm

Please don’t let him do it. Why is he just meeting girls. And why can’t you meet these girls too? You keep letting him hang out with these females, so of course it’s easy for him to have trouble staying faithful…Tell him to respect you too.

Barb Outhere October 24, 2010 at 11:57 pm

Break off the engagement – seriously.
He has already told you he has trouble being/staying faithful – he’s given you fair warning.
He is on-line talking to other women and wants to met with them?
He wants a “holiday” with yet another female?
He prefers his “freedom”? And he doesn’t care that it hurts you?
You do not have to accept this sort of behavior from someone who’s supposed to be committed to marrying you.
He’s not marriage material, and you will save yourself a lot of heartache if you realise that now, rather than when there are children, mortgage, and other debts involved as well.

rooney October 25, 2010 at 12:44 am

You’re actually marrying this manipulative scumbag? One word- DESPERATE

Woman October 25, 2010 at 1:04 am

OMG! You are the kind of person i want to slap, I’m sorry.

Poppet October 25, 2010 at 1:53 am

Given the information you have provided….you don’t actually have a meaningful monogamous relationship. And I’m actually surprised that you think that you do. He’s been up front with you about himself. “he would have trouble staying faithful to me” So, really the ball is in your court. Either you tolerate his behavior or you move on.

yolonda T October 25, 2010 at 1:56 am

No you are definately not being unreasonable.Tell him that you are going to the city to watch a ball game with one of your guy friends and that it will be very late by the time the game ends so you are just going to get a hotel room and maybe have a few drinks and maybe be unfaithful,but not to worry you’ll still be his girl when you return, and see how he reacts to this.Let him see how dumb his idea sounds. Be careful about marrying this jerk,especially if he is already telling you that he doesn’t know if he can remain faithful to you,and making arrangements to go places with other girls that he has met online and other places. I would hate to see you get hurt by this sleezeball.

Sue C October 25, 2010 at 2:10 am

You are honestly calling this “person” your “fiance”!!?? He has no more intentions of being true to you than the man in the moon! He would be one of the very last people I would even consider marrying let alone to actually marry him. And, he’s “afraid he would have trouble staying faithful”? He’s having trouble w/it rite this very minute. Look at all these red flags waving in not a breeze, but a hurricane rite in your face. He is the poorest “excuse” to even call a “fiance”, & I’d be totally ashamed to even call him that. That statement was just plain disrespectful towards you in every respect of the word disrespect! I’d tell him you have NO intentions of marrying him whatsoever, so he doesn’t have to worry his cheating head over being faithful to you now or ever. You feel hurt? I’d be totally livid if I was just told what you were. Take that ring, if he gave you one, go to the closest pawn shop & get whatever money out of it you can, because that’s the MOST you’re ever going to get out of the likes of him. How degrading of him to even have the nerve to say such things to you! Tell him to take a tour on a slow boat to China on a one way ticket, because after that, I couldn’t even look him straight in the eyes after that total statement he made to you. I wish you all the best, you’re going to need it…:)

Pat October 25, 2010 at 3:05 am

NO

any where but here October 25, 2010 at 3:36 am

This is your fiance? Really, he actually gave you a ring and proposed? I just don’t get it…why would you want to be with someone like that? Builds you up to cut you down…ugh! There are better people out there sister!

Just Jenna October 25, 2010 at 3:47 am

Ask him if he can extend his trip to cali by another week – the guy u have been chatting with online is coming to spend the time your fiance is away with you at your place

eldots53 October 25, 2010 at 4:23 am

He’s pretty clearly trolling for other girls – I’m guessing he met this girl online at a dating site. And the tour of California with some other girl, for someone who is supposedly engaged to you, is completely out of line. His freedom IS being compromised – as it should be if he is really contemplating marriage. Don’t feel hurt – be happy! You have found out what he’s like before you got married to him and wrecked your life. He does not care about you at all, so why marry the jerk? Tell him to bonk all the other women he’d like, just that you won’t be one of them, and tell him goodbye!

Pamzzy October 25, 2010 at 4:58 am

You must be very desperate to be with someone for you to allow yourself to be treated like crap….hell your treating yourself like crap.

I think he’s trying to push you away and for YOU to be the one to walk away rather then him looking like the bad guy.

Dimond October 25, 2010 at 5:54 am

Well he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Please don’t marry him, do you think he even knows what being engaged to someone is? Meaning your heart wants to spend the rest of your life with this wonderful person you can’t get enough of let alone even notice another girl??

bride's mom October 25, 2010 at 6:10 am

Your FIANCE is afraid he’d have trouble staying faithful to you? Girl, I have news for you – he IS being unfaithful to you. Giving up the “freedom” to see other women is what being engaged & then married is all about. If he is not ready to voluntarily give up the other women, then he is NOT ready to commit to a relationship with you. Right now, he is doing whatever he wants & knows you will always be there as his back-up girl for whenever he runs out of other women to see. YOu need to develop some self-respect & let – no, SEND – this loser away NOW! HAve you thought that he may also be bringing back std’s & all other not-so-nice gifts for you from his adventures? He’s just shopping around until something better than you comes along. Kick him loose now & find someone who will really appreciate you!

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